Two wives despaired of him, ’ he said. ‘When he got engaged to Sylvia, she made it a condition that he should take the cure at Zurich. And it worked. He came back in three months a different man. And he hasn't touched a drop since, even though Sylvia walked out on him.’ ‘Why did she do that?’ Well, poor Charlie got rather a bore when he stopped drinking. But that’s not really the point of the story. Evelyn Waugh
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  2. The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy
  3. Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them. - Terry Pratchett
  4. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W.C. Fields
  5. There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. - Chelsea Handler
More Quotes By Evelyn Waugh
  1. After all, damn it, what does being in love mean if you can't trust a person.
  2. The worse I am, the more I need God. I can't shut myself out from His mercy. That is what it would mean; starting a life with you, without Him.
  3. I've always been bad. Probably I shall be bad again, punished again. But the worse I am, the more I need God. I can't shut myself out from His mercy.... Or it may be a private bargain between me and God, that if I give...
  4. No one could really hate a saint, could they? They can't really hate God either. When they want to Hate Him and His saints they have to find something like themselves and pretends it's God and hate that.
  5. Then I knew that the sign I had asked for was not a little thing, not a passing nod of recognition, and a phrase came back to me from my childhood of the veil of the temple being rent from top to bottom.
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